definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
