yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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