Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
