You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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