I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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