Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
