I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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