Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
