i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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