mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
