It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
