do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
