Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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