i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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