Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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