alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize