it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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