Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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