At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
