get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
