You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
