Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
