Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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