People with herpes should wear stickers.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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