my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
sex in a hospital.. check
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
