he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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