who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
ugly people sure do ruin things
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
