scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
