and you said cock pushups were impossible
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
