I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
