Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
