I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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