We named our party play list daddy issues
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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