i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
