I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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