so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
