did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
