You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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