he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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