Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
