Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize