My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize