we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
