She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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