I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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