You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
