I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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