Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
