no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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