Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
