Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
