I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
