I want to stick my p in your. b.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
