i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
