They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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